We are married 11 years %26amp; we have 3 wonderfull kids. Our 6 year old girl has problems (was diognosed with depression %26amp; we were both at each others throats %26amp; then she got pregnant with twins. Had sex 3 times that year %26amp; we were cut off in the middle of the last time we had sex. She got pregnant %26amp; I made the mistake of saying are you sure it was mine because I have been cheated on in other relationships. I snapped out of that mode, changed my attitude but she put up a wall toward me %26amp; ever since has told me that she cannot trust me. That was 4 years ago , I have never cheated %26amp; I love her %26amp; my twin boys so much. She refuses theropy. She doen't give me any attention I feel unwanted. She says she wouldn't blame me if I cheated on her. We have sex but she never starts it. I buy her flowers, gifts treat her great.
She says shes not sure if things will ever change. Should I stick it out or find another relationship. What should I do. I love her so much but she won't open up, 4 yrs help
My wife refuses to give me any attention after 11 years of marriage. Should I stay %26amp; keep hoping or just go.?
I wouldn't just "go" but I wouldn't just hope either. Hope won't change a thing. She seems very tortured. My guess would be that a parent or parents were alcoholic or abusive. My suggestion would be to make an appointment with a counselor, and tell your wife, and ask her to go with you. Tell her about the appointment after reviewing your situation which you've just described. Let her know that you are concerned about her and your relationship and that you really want her to go. If she goes, there will probably be quite a wall for the counselor to break through and she'll need to go as an inidividual.
Put the money for gifts and flowers in you pocket they won't do anything for her because deep down inside she "knows" she is ugly, worthless, and an overall bad person.
Reply:Move on, Do it for the children. They should not grow up in a home without love.
Reply:u r doing ur best now its her chance try 2 talk 2 her and ask her what she really wants
Reply:life is too short to wait and you have been wasting too much time, be a hero and find yourself a new life.
Reply:you both need to go to couple's counseling. if she refuses then you need to explain how important physical relations are in a marriage. if she won't budge, then ask if you can go outside of your marriage to get some.
Reply:things won't change. what you see is what you get. leave before you get sick and get your children sick as well. this isn't healthy you need to move on.
Reply:Her whole attitude changed b/c of what you said? I find that hard to believe. I mean, I would be mad that you said that but - I think there is more to the problem then you are letting on.
I think you should try to stick with it if you love her so much. Let her know that you are going to be by her side thru the good and the bad. Good luck!
Reply:If she refuses therapy and is not prepared to meet you even halfway with your needs it is time to rethink your relationship. Explain how you feel to her (if she will let you without blowing up) and try as hard as you can to mend things but if the answer is still the same it is time to move on. Don't waste your life being a martyr it is too short to throw away.
Reply:So sorry to hear that! I think from the sound of things she may have given up and if she is refusing counseling then maybe you should go your own way. Women r so difficult I know i am one..Have you tried communication..that is so important to women BUT make sure you r the listener..and dont talk unless she ask u a question..or pauses and looks like she needs feedback..Good luck to you!
Reply:What is her problem?? u made one comment 4 yrs ago, I wouldn't' cheat on her because 2 wrongs don't make a right
no matter what some people may say. my advice just get a divorce and move on so u can begin to heal, because as long as your with her that will not happen. u don't mention how old u r, this also is a factor. If u r older I can understand u staying, but if u r younger, move on with life. u need to live not exist. u need to set her down and tell her what u r going to do and why, u owe it to yourself. and remember, u will get to see your kids so don't let them be the reason that u stay, u owe it to yourself for a normal life with a loving wife. also if u want 2 try some more 2 make it work I suggest going to counseling. If she loves u she will go, if not there is nothing there 2 save. I wish u the best and hope things work out for u.
super nanny
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