How do I attract an ostrich?

I have recently visited a nearby zoo, and I was completely stunned at the ostrich exhibit. There was a beautiful, tall, majestic ostrich named Tilulu. I want to get to know her! I want her to know how much I love her so--But alas! I have no idea of means of doing so. How can I tell my sweet Tilulu of my adorement? I have fallen in love with her tallness, her beautiful feathers, her charming squawk, and her long legs. She is everything and more that I want in a woman--and I have no way to tell her. Shall I send flowers? Gifts? How can I possible attract her and get her to be my own... For I know she is my soul mate, and together we shall live in harmony for all times... Through thick and thin, we shall love eachother until the very end of time itself. I must somehow show her how much she means to me, and I need your help. Please, give me suggestions to woo my dear maiden. Feel free to share with me successful love stories of your own, to inspire me. I await the advice.

How do I attract an ostrich?
Why do you want to attract, such a dangerous bird?
Reply:................. i highly doubt this stop making up fake questions :)
Reply:You should first learn their language; see in what Answer site they talk Ostrich.
Reply:Steal the ostrichs eggs in full view of the ostrich, stuff it down your pants and before you know it you will be getting some ostrich loving. Hope you like it rough.
Reply:YOU are NOT an ANIMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Reply:get a lesson in hand gliding cover yourself in feathers and gate crash her pen she would love to see you I%26#039;m sure.....
Reply:Wear lot of feathers and flap your arms.
Reply:Ostriches are massive Bruce Willis fans - rent as many Die Hard movies as you can, take a TV and watch them with her at the zoo (preferably after feeding time so you don%26#039;t get mauled or anything).
Reply:Son, I can fully relate to what you are saying. But remember, Ostriches can be as hard and mean as human women. My first two wives were ostriches. They both cheated on me and ran off with other birds. I dated humans for a while but damn it, it just wasn%26#039;t the same. So Son, you go ahead with your wooing but take one piece of advice from an ostrich divorcee





%26quot;Never mount your bird from behind, wrap your arms around her neck and whisper in her ear %26quot;Your sister liked it this way too!%26quot;%26quot;
Reply:If you can%26#039;t attract girls you won%26#039;t be able to attract ostriches
Reply:So you%26#039;ve moved on from sheep then?
Reply:By becoming one, yourself.
Reply:Is Tilulu her real name? She will not know you%26#039;re talking about her even if she%26#039;s reading your question. She may not think herself tall.





Why not drop a note in her pen? Send her all the touching words as the same as you said in your question.





Or just go knock the gate of the zoo. Borrow from her some star burst wrapper. Bring some dvds and ask her if you may watch them with her there since she%26#039;s got a big screen TV.





You have to convince her that you%26#039;re not interested in her 18 years old ostrich daughter or sister if there%26#039;s any.
Reply:Dude, you need help. I got bit by an ostrich once when I was little, hurt like a b*tch. But if you love her go for it, can%26#039;t believe I just said that.
Reply:REALLY????
Reply:Dude.... stay off the drugs man!!!








or at least go for Laamas
Reply:Youuuuuuuuu do know that you%26#039;ll..... never be able to marry Tilulu, right?
Reply:dude u are extremly wierd, who falls in love with an ostrich. well if u really did dress up like one toshow her u r willing to change for her. and AWE thats soooooooooo sweet.
Reply:I hope you and your bird are very happy together. Now give me the two points.
Reply:dude, I have 3 words for you:





You crazy, butthole!





dont Post SPAM%26lt; BASTERD!



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