Is it fair that your lover doesn’t give you presents, just because he himself had a bad experience with gifts?

On special days like Christmas or my birthday, he never gives me presents because he believes that hugs and kisses and words are much more meaningful than presents are (I didn%26#039;t ask him, but he said something like that in a conversation.)





I absolutely agree, but I think he’s lacking something that most men have – the knowledge that girls get excited and pleased when they receive a special gift from their loved one . . . whether it’s a flower or an accessory or even a little love note.





One day I asked my lover hesitantly why he doesn’t give me presents. I told him that I don%26#039;t think it%26#039;s so difficult. He said something like: “I hate it when people give me meaningless things that end up everywhere and take up so much space and end up becoming trash. It wastes my time.”





Is it fair that he doesn’t give me gifts for this reason?

Is it fair that your lover doesn’t give you presents, just because he himself had a bad experience with gifts?
I agree with your lover. I would much rather have my husband%26#039;s time than any gift he could purchase for me. Having said that, if it makes you feel slighted, then you need to make your point LOUD and CLEAR, not with subtle hints or small talk. Tell him that it hurts you when he doesn%26#039;t think to give you a gift and that you don%26#039;t need or want much, just something to let you know that he is thinking of you on this important occasion. Also tell him that you understand how he feels about gifts, but that doesn%26#039;t mean that you feel the same way. Then go from there. Best of luck and God bless!
Reply:I don%26#039;t think it is a question of %26quot;fair%26quot;. You will have a lot of problems in the future if you don%26#039;t get this worked out now. If this is important to you he needs to get the gift already. I understand that it is not an issue of money, it is that he is not acknowledging you with his time and thoughts!
Reply:My birthday is tomorrow and I told everyone I wanted no gifts. But, my best friend is watching my son, so my boyfriend and I can go to a nice dinner. That%26#039;s a wonderful gift to me. I don%26#039;t need a present on top of that. I have everything I need and I told everyone that.





The best gift anyone could give me would be to leave me alone that day and don%26#039;t bother me. Don%26#039;t say anything stupid to me, don%26#039;t give me or my son a hard time. I don%26#039;t need any special treatment, just don%26#039;t hassle me. That would be the best gift ever. Alas, it won%26#039;t happen, it%26#039;s a nice thought though.





Someone%26#039;s treatment of me matters much more than anything they could ever buy me.
Reply:A cheapskate. Ugh. It%26#039;s not fair, gifts are nice ... he has a good excuse though.
Reply:Oh no way, he is a cheapskate! Plus, not very thoughtful!!!
Reply:if this relationship is going to work he needs to think about how much you want to receive a gift, rather than about how much he doesn%26#039;t want to give one.





personally i have a phobia of flowers (commoner than people realise), but my partner - ann - has always loved them.





i used to buy her flowers occasionally. i hated even giving them to her (i would rather hold a spider) - but she liked it so much.





(now that we live together i don%26#039;t get her flowers anymore. i wouldn%26#039;t mind buying her a few occasionally, but we%26#039;ve realised that even if i do i can%26#039;t bear to be in the same house as one).





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does he write you poems?
Reply:He%26#039;s just being a cheapo..... My ex was like that.. he wanted gifts, and asked for gifts, received gifts, but when it came to giving he%26#039;d say %26quot;I don%26#039;t believe in giving gifts%26quot;...





He speaks of meaningless gifts... a well thought out gift, means much, it doesn%26#039;t necessarily have to be expensive, just meaningful to the person receiving, and the person giving.
Reply:Hmm it sounds like he is making excuses so he won%26#039;t have to get you anything. If he says that he doesn%26#039;t like the idea because the gifts just sit around and go to waste, then talk to him about giving meaningful presents instead. Maybe you should try getting him a gift or two this Christmas (nice gifts), and see how he reacts if he doesn%26#039;t get you anything.
Reply:No, it isn%26#039;t fair..you should atleast do something to celebrate the holidays. Maybee you can suggest a weekend away or see a play.


That way you wouldn%26#039;t feel obligated to her him something and get nothing in return.
Reply:no... it sounds like a loser. even ppl with values against traditionalism and consumerism in gift giving would make something or do something romantic for their lover... i would reconsider other areas of this relationship also and if he is really worth for time and affection



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