Guys and Flowers? Why is it so hard?

I keep reading about how guys do not want to waste money on flowers. That they think the women in their life should just be glad that he is attentive to does other loving things. And it seems women who want flowers are seen as superficial and materialistic.





My Ex would send me flowers because he said he just wanted to %26quot;wow%26quot; me once in awhile.





My new BF has not bought me a single flower, or even picked one for me in three years.





I have given him flowers twice. Both times just two Argentinian Roses. The second time, he said %26quot;I%26#039;m not a flower guy%26quot; so I said okay I%26#039;ll toss it then. I put it in the trash next to him and yes he left it there.





For Valentine%26#039;s this year, I sent him a cheesecake to his office. He took me to dinner, but no gift. Never called me to say he got the cheesecake either.....





My girlfriends feel the same way as me...no flowers and they would like some. Even a single rose once a year...but no luck.





We have all made it clear we love flowers!

Guys and Flowers? Why is it so hard?
Find a thoughtful guy. Your guy doesn%26#039;t sound like he understands you at all. If you can%26#039;t make it clear to him what matters to you, and that he needs to be attentive to your needs then cut off some of the things he values. Make sure the things you cut off are not things that are mutually enjoyable, but things you do just for him.
Reply:i love Flowers Especially Roses i love to plant them and grow them i think men just hate the idea of showing their feminin side in front of other guys but truth be told we like basically the same stuff you ladies do we just hide it really good lol.
Reply:There are a lot of fish in the ocean. Land the one you want.
Reply:wow that%26#039;s really sad the way you put it


I hope guys who read it will understand something


I think you%26#039;re not even asking for too much, but you%26#039;ll have to face it


he%26#039;ll never change


and of corse you can%26#039;t leave him just for that but you have to resignate...


and if you really hate it and sometimes want to take revenge on him better give up and go look 4 someone else


there%26#039;s really no answere to this :(
Reply:First of all stopping giving so much when you are getting so little in return. Not to mention the fact that it doesn%26#039;t sound like your BF appreciates your gestures.





If a man feels that it is expected that he give flowers then he may rebel against that.





Give up expecting flowers from someone who has never given you one flower! Whatever you do, don%26#039;t make it a power struggle. You will loose. Already, I suspect your BF feels like you demand this from him. No man likes that.





Does your BF make-up for that in other ways? Do you really want flowers or do you want to win?!





I think it is very romantic and thoughtful when a man does bring me flowers but I%26#039;ve never expected that he do so.





I%26#039;ve had a lot of boyfriends, including my ex-husband and I%26#039;ve never had one who didn%26#039;t bring me flowers. In fact, one of my BF%26#039;s over did it to the point that it wasn%26#039;t special any more.





I don%26#039;t know who these men are that think flowers are a waste of money, I have never met one in my entire life.





Let it go and buy yourself flowers. If getting flowers is that important to you then get a new BF!





You%26#039;ve already told your BF how you feel about flowers. He did not deliver. Do not mention it again. But do pay attention to the fact that he doesn%26#039;t care enough about you to bring you flowers after you told him how important it is to you. But this only counts if you only mentioned it once!





However, if you made this an issue and kept telling him over and over about your need for flowers I am not suprised that he has not delivered.
Reply:Personally this guy seems to be inconsiderate. I being a guy myself know that we can be that way. But three years without anything is kinda crazy. He needs to pay some attention to you! Slap him around.
Reply:Okay, first of all, most guys wouldn%26#039;t like their girl to give them flowers. They feel it sorta de-masculinizes them. Giving him flowers isn%26#039;t going to give him a hint that you want them. They don%26#039;t pick up on our clues that easily. And a cheesecake? Also probably not the greatest idea. If you want to give him a gift, go for something he%26#039;s into. If he likes golf...give him a pack of golfballs. If he has a favorite meal...cook it for him after he%26#039;s had a hard day. Or bring him a coffee treat to work (assuming he drinks coffee) if he%26#039;s draggin%26#039;. But if you give him a gift, do it for him....to please him, not you in any sort of way. He may not even be the type who likes gifts. There are 5 basic love languages: gifts, acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. Explore those. Maybe you can see one or two that he may fall into. It sounds like you want the gifts. Generally, people tend to show love with the type of love they wish to receive. And if you want flowers, just tell him flowers would be nice every once in a while. You have to be very clear with men about what you want.
Reply:I know how you feel! I have the same problem and I have some solutions for you:





1) I would go ahead to satisfy my own wants by buying myself flowers.





I found out sometimes even when people buy me flowers (e.g. on graduation) These flowers are not necessarily the kind that I like. Of course I thank them for their thoughtfulness for buying me flowers. But if you are a person who really like flowers, you cannot be satisfy by just any kind of flowers. Only you yourself know what are the kind of flowers you like and I would go choose it on my own.





Here is a good website to look at flowers and floral designs:


www.emptyvase.com





2) When doing glocery shopping together, add to the cart flowers of your choice and make him pay for it.





He may not be willing to do that, but if you insist paying for your own he would think that it makes him feel bad. So he might pay for it. The worst case is you have to pay for your own flowers, but then you at least are just buying flowers that you like.





3) Buy flowers for yourself, tell him another GUY bought it for you to make him jealous.





You have to act like you really like this flowers you %26quot;received%26quot; from someone else and cherish the flowers. He would get the message then and start thinking of getting you flowers as well. Even though lying is not good, it helps sometimes.





The more important thing in a relationship is not about the flowers, it is about how much he loves you. Buying you flowers is just a way to show his love. But he may just not the type who likes to do it. Even if you can make him do it once or twice, at the end I think you can buy flowers on your own if you consider it necessary without hurting the relationship.



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