Is it morally wrong to leave gifts of affection to someone when you don't know their sexuality?

I have a crush on this girl from school, and I'm unsure if she's gay or not, we're in a lot of the same clubs and she's really nice and very pretty, I want to leave her like flowers or something with a note signed something anonymous that won't identify my gender ( maybe, your paramour or something) but I want to know if this would be morally wrong.

Is it morally wrong to leave gifts of affection to someone when you don't know their sexuality?
Not wrong BUT as you attend the same school be very, very careful. If she doesn't react well it could cause problems for you with your fellow students - given what you've already mentioned about them!





It might be an idea to try and find out her.... orientation, before you actually do anything :)
Reply:I don't think that it's morally wrong, but it might make her uncomfortable, regardless of her sexual orientation. Unwanted attention can be awkward no matter who it's from - gay or straight. Rather than leaving her presents, maybe try to get a better feel for whether or not she likes you back first. Talk to her - flirt a little, see where it takes you. Worst case scenario, she's not interested in you. That's not so bad, is it? Best case scenario, she likes you too and you can go from there. Good luck!
Reply:I don't think it is wrong, but it may make her feel very confused or uncomfortable if she is not gay. Even flirting would probably freek her out if she is straight and it could majorly backfire on your part.





Since you are a girl, perhaps it would be better to get to know her as a friend first. If she is gay or not, you will learn that through the friendship. If you find out that she is indeed not gay, then no harm will come out of it as long as you keep your romantic feelings to yourself. But at least you would still be friends.
Reply:I think perhaps it could be wrong.


If she is not gay, she may get very excited about having a secret admirer, and then heartbroken to find it's a woman. Perhaps there is some way to let her know that you're a woman right from the start. If it were me, I wouldn't be interested, but I'd still be very flattered, so I assume she'd be flattered, too.
Reply:No....but don't start so hot and heavy.





First, get to know a little about her...what does she like? Send her "a little something" that you know she already likes.





Don't do the flower bit until you know she is interested in girls in the same way you are interested in girls...you're just asking for hurt feelings and misunderstandings otherwise.





Of course I am a guy and I went to college, like, 100 years ago (okay it was actually 30 years ago...), but I had a huge crush on one of the drum majors...I sent him some "secret admirer" stuff and some notes. He and his friends got a huge kick out of it...I had fun...but I figured out quickly that he was not my kind of guy (that is, gay)...so I took it down a notch and faded it all away. A few years later we had a class together (in graduate school). We got to know each other better and I told him I was his "secret admirer" of sophomore year. He was shocked, but he took me out for a drink and we had a very good, platonic friendship for a couple of years.
Reply:Why not? Just have an exit strategy. It can be a blow to self-esteem if she thinks it is a boy, then winds up feeling unattractive to those she wants to attract. Although it is teen angst, it is formative. Although the odds are against you, if you are right, it could be very positive.
Reply:Of course it's not morally wrong. There are however better ways to get her attention. Anonymous is always a waste of time. Flirt with her. Women do it all the time even if they're straight. However, if she is not, she'll catch on real quick.
Reply:I think it would be better to just talk to her about it. Because anonymous gifts can be a little intimdating, regardless of gender.
Reply:I don't think its wrong, but it could get kind of ugly if she finds out you left it and she is in fact straight.





So just take a bit of caution in doing it.
Reply:"Morally wrong"? No, of course not.





I think you should let her know it is from you though. Make it a gift of friendship first and see what happens.
Reply:There is nothing morally wrong with expressing your affection for someone, but you should have a plan as to how you will eventually broach the subject with them.





I wish you luck!
Reply:Why would it be wrong? She should be flattered that someone is attracted to her and will make a romantic gesture.
Reply:darling .. as much as the sentiments are nice


I think I would be freaked out by anonymous gifts ( no matter the gender )





why not just get to know her and see how things stand
Reply:i dont think its ever morally wrong to leave gifts.
Reply:whats wrong with that?





you could see it as a challenge, turning her.
Reply:I don't think it's wrong at all.





If she is not gay - she'll simply just say so.





She might even be flattered :)



nanny